I'm a real person!!!

Haha...at least that's how I describe the amazing, crazy changes in my life in the last two weeks.

First major change:

I got a job!!

I am officially the new Marketing Communications Coordinator at RTI Biologics in Alachua, FL. Yes, that's where I've been interning for the last nine months, and no, it's NOT in Chicago...surprise!!

As you know, I've been looking and looking for a job in Chicago, with the intention of moving there as soon as I found one. Well, God apparently was laughing in amusement at my plans, because I think all along I must have been supposed to stay in Gainesville. I got offered the job at RTI a couple of weeks ago, the day before my last day in the office as an intern. I thought that was going to make my life complicated, wondering whether I should stay, but it ended up being a pretty easy decision! The opportunity is amazing, I LOVE my job, I have an unbelievable boss, and RTI has just been a great place in general. So, I accepted the position, and today was my first official day in my new position!

Second major change:

Now, you may be wondering...what about Todd??? He's up there in cold Chicago, and Wendy's staying in sunny Florida. Well, that's another exciting change...Todd is moving to Florida! As soon as he finds a job, he's moving, and I couldn't be more excited! Finally, we will be in the same city, getting to live life as a "normal" couple. YAY!

Third major change:

And speaking of living life...

I will be living life in a great new apartment starting this Saturday! I signed a lease on a one-bedroom, one bath apartment in NW Gainesville. It's the same complex some of me and Todd's friends live in, and I will be living in a building next to them! We already are having visions of us all being like the characters in "Friends," popping in and out of each other's apartments and having fantastic fun times. :) Todd is going to look into getting and apartment there too, which would be amazing. To go from 1000 miles apart to a matter of yards apart is more than I could have hoped for.

So, I am a VERY happy girl, and now that things are settling down in my life, I will probably get to update this blog more often! I'll try to post some pics of the new apartment (once I buy furnitute!) soon.

I also want to thank everyone who was so supportive of me through this crazy transitional time in my life. You are all WONDERFUL, and I couldn't have made it to this point without you. THANK YOU! :)

Oh, and one more thing to say...I could be in Gainesville for the 5th, that's right...5th Florida Gator National Championship in 5 years. Yeah, I must be the reason they keep winning. ;) Can't wait for the football season to start!

Self-Sabotage

I self-sabotage. At least I think I do. Every time something really amazing is about to happen to me, I freak out and throw walls up and run from it. Who in their right mind would do that? Why would I not want something amazing to happen to me? Maybe because I know that with the potential for good always comes the potential for bad, and I am terrified of the bad. So scared in fact, that I run from the good, just to avoid any chance of the bad. That is a terrible way to live, and it's only been recently that I realized how often I do that, and I wonder what I've missed out on in my life because I was running from the potential of bad.

I also overthink everything, which is probably why I manage to see bad in something good. I can weigh decisions for months if you'll let me, whereas Todd can make a huge decision in one night. I envy that ability, because he probably ends up making better decisions as a result. He goes with his gut, combines it with a reasonable thought, and makes a decision. I weigh the pros and the cons until I forget what I'm even trying to decide, probably because I discovered something else I was unsure of along the way.

Is there a way to embrace these things about myself and learn to use them to my advantage? Or are they things I need to change, and fast, before I lose the best thing that's ever happened to me?

Again, I have no answers. I see in black in white in a world that's shades of gray, and that somehow leaves me hiding in the dark.

Keep in the Sunlight

"Do not anticipate trouble,

or worry about what may not happen.

Keep in the sunlight."

Benjamin Franklin

Make Love Last

I was reading the July issue of Glamour magazine last night, and I stumbled across one of the best articles I've read in awhile. It gave hints for how to make love last, and as much as I enjoy a good girly magazine, I don't usually take their advice all that seriously. However, this article was spot on, so I decided to share a few of my favorite hints!

What you should do together...

Once a week:

Fight (a little). Getting your grrs out keeps small annoyances from snowballing. Britain's longest-married couple proves it: together 81 years, Frank and Anita Milford say their secret is "a little argument every day."

Compliment each other . This one's a daily to-do, if you can. There's no nice thing that's too small to mention his excellent taste in music, the way he opens the door for you - it's all worth a verbal love tap. And he will swoon.

Let something go. Argue over the stuff that matters, but once a week let him (and yourself) off the hook for things that don't: yes, he chews his popcorn loud. No, it won't kill you.

Laugh so hard. Laughter is a relationships krazy glue: it bonds you. uninspired? Fast foward to the chest-waxing scene in The 40-year-old Virgin or send him something snortworthy from funnyordie.com.

Once a month:

Be do-gooders. Volunteering together (even just helping a friend move) bonds you because you're ID-ing "common values," says Elizabeth Lombardo, a psychologist in Wexford, Pennsylvania.

Do something scary. Been together awhile? A pounding heart mimics the rush of brand new love, says Patti Wood, an expert on nonverbal communication in Atlanta. Fly in a Balloon or order the sweet-breads for two!

Brag publicly about him: his fearless pursuit of the mouse in your kitchen, the armful of hydrangeas he surprised you with, the raise he landed even in this economy. Surely once a month you can think of something that'll make him blush in front of your friends . He'll probably get you back too .

Declare something "this stays in vegas." A silly nickname, or a crazy mishap. Share something intimate, then pull the couple bubble around you tightly .

Disappear together . Hike somewhere AT&T can't find you (and thus your mother, your boss and his needy friend Bob can't find you either). No woods ? Any time spent totally alone together - a long drive, even - will do the trick .

Disappear alone. We're not advocating game-playing exactly. But in this world of 24/7 availability, it can be good for your relationship to each have some solo time. Afterward, you'll feel recharged, like the free-spirited single girl he fell for once upon a time.

Go to a party! And mingle seperately. It screams confidence and makes the after-party rehash even sweeter.

Once a year:

Get a dog. Or at least a plant. Anything that'll grow with your love.

Say the tough thing. The dark family secret. The crazy career dream. If you can't confess to your significant other, then who? (Hey, you think Barack never said to Michelle way back when, "This may sound nuts, but I think I want to be president someday?"

Cancel valentines day and invent your own lovey-dovey holiday. Lobsterfest 2009 anyone ?

Fall apart. You can't schedule this. But it's important that you each know, via experience, that you can completely, utterly lose your grip - weep over a bad haircut, threaten to leave your job after a nutso day, have a wrenching fight with your mom - and not lose each other .

Don't. Get. Up. At least once a year, break open some bubbly, disable the Wi-Fi and don't get out of bed for the weekend.

Write each other. New Orleans newly wed Rebecca, 32 was inspired by her husbands uncle who writes his wife every Christmas. "One letter maynot seem like much, but after 30 years it's a wonderful record of their lives."

Think back on all the reasons you fell for him. whether you've dated for a year or a decade. Some will be big (his extra-dry sense of humor); some will be small (his love of argyle). Make sure you tell him, and remind yourself. Hello, butterflies! There you are again.

And once a lifetime.

Get lost together in a foreign country.

Damn the cost and go do the dream.

Come back from the bring of a breakup even stronger.

Together, convince a skeptic pall to believe in love.

Have a poor phase. Maybe a rich phase too.

Count the stars. Know your love is one in a billion.

Florida Love

The first three posts of this new blog ended up being somewhat more pensive and ponderous then I originally intended. While yes, I would like this blog to document what it feels like to be a twentysomething, I would like to do that by just writing about my life.

Last weekend, Todd finally got to visit my parents' house in Malabar and get the grand tour of Melbourne. My parents are moving soon, so it was important to me that he see where I spent my high school years. We had a little less than 24 hours there, but we fit alot in! We looked for manatees in Turkey Creek, but alas, they stayed hidden. We enjoyed sweating in the hot Florida sun though!

Then we headed to Bizarro's on the beach for some delicious pizza with my parents. Todd and my parents get along SO well, so it was so much fun to just relax and chat. The best part of lunch was when my dad and I started talking about punctuation. That's right, put two English majors at one table and you get a thrilling conversation about whether or not a comma should be used before the "and" in a series. For example: We looked for manatees, ate pizza, and walked on the beach.


Do you put the comma in after pizza or leave it out? My dad and I voted to put it in, but I see sentences published all the time without the comma. Are you laughing at me yet? My mom and Todd were cracking up throughout the convo, but later Todd said that was his favorite part of the meal for two reasons--one because that's the first casual convo about punctuation he's ever been a part of, and two because I was so enthusiastic about the subject. Later that night he got a chance to chat with my aunt about art things, like wood burning kilns and such, and I had no idea what he was talking about, but I enjoyed watching him talk about something he is passionate about too.


To wrap up our day tour of Melbourne, we walked around downtown Melbourne for awhile, rummaging through thrift stores, exploring my favorite used book store, and buying Todd some sandals. Being a midwesterner, he apparently has had no need for sandals until now. Being a Florida girl through and through, I can't imagine not wearing sandals daily. Todd only brought these shoes down with him:



Cute, but no good for a beach town. So, he found the perfect compromise, an invention I will call the Shoedal. Sandal on the bottom, shoe on the top. I suppose it's a good compromise, and he's in love with them, so what can I say. My midwestern boy just isn't a sandal guy.


All in all, a great trip back home and some fun memories. Here are a couple more fun pics from the weekend...

Our goats! Splish Splash, Bobbie, and Rosie...and I think Raisin the sheep made it into the background too.

Todd and I in my backyard in Malabar.

Lexie loves Todd, and she decided that she needed to

literally take a nap on his head. What cuties!

Booby-Traps and Tear-Soaked Nights

I want to write a book. Now, I've never really been all that great at creative writing, but I would consider myself pretty capable of communicating something that I didn't have to make up by myself. In the case of this particular book on my mind, it would be drawn from personal and vicarious experience, and the content would be real, raw, and relevant.

I want to write a book about what to expect when you graduate college. You might be thinking, there are tons of books out there about that! Books that pretend to have all the answers about job hunting. Books that give options for delaying the real world. Books that encourage twentysomething girls to seek God first, then a husband, then babies (Have a career? What's that?), and twentysomething boys to marry a girl who wants nothing more in life than to submit to her husband and bear him children.

I read all these books, cover to cover. And yet here I am, just a year out of college, treading water and grasping for a hand to pull my exhausted body through the current that is trying its hardest to drown me. Those books did nothing for me, but why?

Probably because they weren't based on reality. They weren't based on what actually happened to a twentysomething and how they survived it. Those books are idealistic, and preach nice thoughts, but when reality crashes over you and your only means of survival are some unrealistic manuals for life written by someone trying to make a buck at your expense...well, drowning seems inevitable.

However, we have parents. We have friends in their 30s. We know people who survived being a twentysomething, and more likely than not, they barely kept their head above water for most of that time. But they survived.

I really wish I had someone tell me how to survive being a twentysomething when it doesn't involve being married before I graduate college, having mommy and daddy hand me job or a house, or staying in school for 10 years to become a doctor. How does the average person do it? How does the normal, middle-class twentysomething transition from the padded walls of the college to the booby-trap laden "real world" rushing at them?

Well, I don't have any answers, yet. But I do know how it feels, some things to watch out for, and how many tear-soaked nights it will take. And other people, who did it differently than me, will have insights I never had the priviledge of learning.

So this is my thought: These books we are encouraged to read don't have all the answers...but neither do I. But while I can't give solid answers (that's what those other books tried to do, and failed), I can leave behind the reassurance to other twentysomethings that someone else knows how it feels. It's going to hurt. You will cry...probably alot. You will deperately miss the friends that college easily handed to you and then just as easily ripped out from under you. It's going to feel like you are drowning, and it's going to feel like the struggling to get by will never end. And despite all of the hard stuff, some amazing things are going to happen in the midst of it, shaping who you end up being when you finally collapse on the shore, wiping the cruel water off your face.

I want to collect stories from twentysomethings. I want to hear how the people who got jobs handed them right out of college did it. Was it the luck of the draw, or did they do something brilliant to set themselves up for that? And either way, how did it feel to be a twentysomething and on your own? I want to hear how people who had a harder time figuring themselves out and finding a job than I did managed to keep their head above water and come out on the other side alive. I want to hear about those people who did manage to avoid the real world and go on an adventure. Did they love it, or was it hard as hell?

Maybe if I had read that book, one with a foundation in realism rather than idealism, maybe then I would have felt less alone in this whole process. Maybe if someone had told me that there isn't one way to be a twentysomething, I would have panicked less.

Maybe I will collect twentysomething stories someday, but first I need stop breathing in water and keep swimming toward the shore, however far away it may be.

Currently listening to: "Boston" by Augustana (Check out Imeem player at the bottom of the page)

To be a twentysomething...

What does it mean to be a twentysomething?

twentysomething: (n) a young adult in their twenties

Well, isn't that enlightening? I technically qualify, according to Webster. But the textbook definition doesn't give any insight into how it feels to be a twentysomething, what you might encounter, or how to handle those potentially treacherous years.

Maybe someone else can help me. John Mayer, you cater to us coffee shop-dwelling twentysomethings, right? What can you tell me?

"It might be a quarter life crisis or just the stirring in my soul. Either way, I wonder sometimes about the outcome of a still verdictless life. Am I living it right?"

Ok, apparently John is still wondering too. Maybe he needs to read this post, if I ever come to a worthwhile conclustion.

Let's try someone else. Jamie Cullum has a song called "Twentysomething." That must hold some answers.

After years of expensive education,
a car full of books and anticipation,
I’m an expert on Shakespeare and that’s a hell of a lot
but the world don't need scholars as much as I thought.

Maybe I'll go travelling for a year,finding myself or start a career.
I could work for the poor though I’m hungry for fame
we all seem so different but we're just the same.
Maybe I'll go to the gym, so I don't get fat,
aren't things more easy with a tight six pack?

Who knows the answers? Who do you trust?
I can't even separate love from lust.
Maybe I’ll move back home and pay off my loans,
working nine to five answering phones.
Don't make me live for my friday nights,
drinking eight pints and getting in fights.

I don't want to get up,
just let me lie in,
leave me alone,
I'm a twenty something.

Maybe I'll just fall in love
that could solve it all,
philosophers say that that’s enough,
there surely must be more.

Love ain’t the answer nor is work,
the truth eludes me so much it hurts.
But I’m still having fun and I guess that's the key,
I'm a twenty something and I'll keep being me.

I’m a twenty something.
Let me lie in, Leave me alone.
I’m a twenty something.

So, after going through a soul-searching song writing process, the truth still eludes him and he just wants to be left alone. We're getting closer...

Maybe that's the point of being twentysomething. There are no answers, no right way to do anything, and no directions for you to follow. But I suppose that's the fun of it...the chance to tackle life without a solid game plan, letting things fly at you all willy-nilly and making spontaneous decisions.

To be a twentysomething is to know nothing and desire everything. To be a twentysomething is to be scared of a world that taunts you, but wanting to hold that same world inside you and let it tickle your insides, decorating your soul with its perfect moments and it's tears.

Currently Listening To: "Twentysomething" by Jamie Cullum (check out the Imeem music search at the bottom of the page to hear this song)

Another Outlet

I feel the need to express myself constantly. I want people to get me, although I would venture to say most don't. That's ok. I tend to keep those people around who do get me, and the ones who life pulls from my presence are always close in my mind.

Despite the fact that I have been blessed with some kindred spirits in my life, I will probably always try to make myself heard to anyone who will listen. Hence why I started this blog. I already have a photoblog (Lifestill), but I need another outlet for my words. I'm also facing a lot of changes in my life, so I figured this was an easy, fun way to keep all of you cool people who care where I am and what I'm doing in the loop.

Here's a quick overview of my life at the moment:

Age: 23 going on 24, fully a twentysomething

Marital status: In a long distance relationship with my love, Todd. Our story involves 80s music, Craigslist, Chicago, and some perfect moments in home & living stores. He is one of the rare, priceless people who gets me.

Education status: I graduated from UF in May 2008, completed one semester of Adverting grad school, and then promptly quit grad school. Yes, I quit grad school when everyone else my age is hiding from the bad economy behind a big stack of textbooks and losing their souls to higher education. What's the smarter plan? Still being determined...

Job status: Currently a full-time intern at a biotechnology company, but job hunting like whoa in my spare time. Working in communications in Chicago is the ultimate goal.

Residence: Gainesville at the moment, but I'll be moving to Chicago as soon as someone hires me...or until I can't take it anymore and I take up temporary residence in a box, where I hear most liberal arts majors end up anyway.

Children: One adorable cockapoo puppy named Lexie.

General interests: photography, gray T-shirts, iced coffees, movie nights, obsessively checking the stats on my portfolio, writing cover letters, eating gelato, re-reading my favorite books, everything Todd, apartments with exposed brick walls, music with unexpected violins, investing in cold weather clothes

General outlook on life: Scared to death and more excited than I've ever been.

Some of these will change soon, some will stay the same. I'll let you know things when I know things!


Currently Listening To: "Why I Am" by Dave Matthews Band (check out the Imeem music search at the bottom of the page to hear this song)

Currently Re-Reading: The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver